January of 2019 was the beginning of yet another big transition for me. Yeah, I know, Happy New Year!!! We talk about transitions as if they are so simple, when in fact they are a huge deal and sometimes the toughest seasons to go through. During a transition, we are not just saying goodbye to a season in our life; we are saying goodbye to the "version" of ourselves that was operating in that season. I've been here before and I know that transitions can be challenging and can make us feel like we are in the eye of a hurricane.
So how did I enter this transition? I listened to my heart. I chose the eye of the storm.
We've all watched weather reporters reporting from the eye of a storm...often outside and unprotected. I feel like one of those reporters right now. I feel vulnerable. I am being tossed around a bit by some fierce winds. These winds often feel brutal: winds of indecision, winds of self-doubt, winds of second guessing...like a hurricane, so many winds.
And even while the winds howl all around me, I am grateful for and so privileged to be surrounded by so many beautiful people who are here for me no matter what this next season of my life entails. It is that love and support that keeps me moving forward.
January felt really hard for me. I often felt like I should be "doing more", but, perhaps transitions aren’t something meant to be moved through too quickly. Perhaps being with the power that is inherent in a transition instead of fighting against it is one of the most strangely significant things we can do. I had the opportunity over the past month to indulge in some self-care and that has been so important. I don't just want to survive this transition, I want to thrive.
I am feeling grateful for all of the lessons learned during the past year and a half and I am committed to using those lessons to inform my path forward. I am rebuilding my consulting firm in ways that are more in alignment with my current desires and I have entered into a partnership doing some pretty cool work in youth entrepreneurship. I have started painting again. The feeling of brush to canvas is having magical powers for me. I am writing again. This blog post is the first manifestation of that. I am also spending some time revisiting another BIG writing project that has been on the back burner for way too long.
I understand that this transition is not over and there may be many more fierce winds to face but the wind speeds are decreasing for now and I am beginning to thrive again. Thank you to those in my tribe, you know who you are, for assisting me on my journey.
I found and read this really lovely article entitled "5 Nuggets of Wisdom to Help You Navigate Transitions" written by Michelle Corazao. I have included some of the information from the article below. If you or someone you know is moving into or through a season of transition, I hope that something below will assist you on your own journey.
1. Focus on what you want and not on what you fear.
Fear is a funny thing. Our bodies will experience fear to help us survive, but if you process fear in your everyday actions/thoughts/feelings then you might as well put yourself in a prison. Although the change or transition in your life may feel intense, is it an actual threat to your life? Check in to see if you are letting your imagination run wild. Are you letting your fears take over? Are you stuck in the past? Reaffirm that you will live through this, even if a version of yourself dies or things fall away in your life. You might even write yourself a note that says, “I am safe” to remind you that these fears are just fears, nothing more.
Try to remind yourself of what would happen if you stayed exactly where you are. Can you live with that? Is it sustaining you? Instead of focusing on the fear of taking the next step, focus on what you want instead. This helps to shift the energy and give you more breathing room to actually take the steps you may need to take. You may be surprised by how quickly the energy will move to support you once you choose what you want over fear. Things may fall into place synchronistically and happen in a way that you could have never imagined. You might even wonder what you feared in the first place once you allow that big change to happen.
2. Follow your truth.
A transition can be filled with a lot choices and potentials. It can feel like your world is in constant flux. As much as you may want to have it all figured out, your mind might not be able to comprehend all of it.
This is the time to connect with yourself. Do you have a strong sense of knowingness of what to do next? Are you listening to it? Is your heart sounding the siren for you to take a leap? Is there some truth that you are ready to own in your life? Your mind might not be able to make sense of it, and that’s okay. It’s also possible that you are very clear about what you want to do next, but it doesn’t make sense to anyone else. That’s okay, too. Trust that your intuition, your heart, or your truth has an infinite intelligence that will help align you to what is truly yours.
3. Set the tone, stay in the present moment, and ask for help when you need it.
How do you want to experience this transition? Do you think it’s going to take forever or that it will be hard and complicated? Try to choose how you want this transition to go. Set the tone. No matter what you think, focus on the vibrations that would support you like ease, grace, divine timing, amusement, joy, etc. What would be an arduous journey for someone else might be completely seamless, easy, and magical for you. Try not to compare yourself to how others have done it in the past and just choose how you want to experience it.
A transition can entail a lot of change, integration, or assimilation. It can feel overwhelming at times. Maybe you are aware of all the steps to get you where you want to be and it’s A LOT. Take each moment at a time. Take each step at a time. You can handle a moment but chances are, you might feel anxiety or stress if you are looking at a whole year’s worth of steps.
It’s important to recognize that you are not alone. There are people out there that can help. Don’t hesitate to ask for it! Do you need help processing thoughts and emotions? See a counselor. Do you need extra motivation? Connect with a coach. Do you need to be financially savvy? Find an expert. Do you need legal advice? Look for a lawyer. Professional help can clarify so much and make your big transition do-able. Sure, it costs money or takes up more time, but transitions are a critical time of change, and it’s important to be clear and supported through it all.
4. Give yourself space.
In a transition, you’re transforming your life in some way and things are not yet solidified. It can feel like you are presenting an unfinished painting to the world. Some people might not get the whole picture and speak to you in ways that don't feel supportive whether they mean to or not. A transition can feel downright vulnerable so give yourself permission to keep things private, take space, or take a break if needed. Use your intuitive gauge to determine who might be able to hear what you are going through and who might not. Go on a retreat that nourishes your soul and allows you to connect with yourself. Take the space you need and have respect for your needs.
5. Believe in yourself.
You may be allowing a new version of yourself to shine forth in the world and it might not be graceful. If you’ve ever learned a new skill, you know that it takes many mistakes to become fluent and proficient at that skill. You would never be hard on a new student learning a new skill so why would you be hard on yourself when you make a mistake during a transition. Chances are, you haven’t finessed a new way of communicating or presenting yourself. You may stumble or fall. You may try something new and quickly learn that the method needs refining. Don’t be afraid to try and don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Know that you can do this and it’s okay to try again.
Each transition can be so unique, so make time to connect with yourself, and find what works best for you! In my transition, things worked out faster and better than I could have imagined. I was delightfully surprised by the love, empowerment, and support that followed. In the long run, I learned how to follow my truth, pace myself, respect myself, and enjoy myself during a transition. What tickled me the most is that the people who had done something like this before were totally baffled by how fast, seamless, and synchronistic it worked out for me. It goes to show that it doesn’t matter how anyone else has done it before — you have the choice to set the tone in your own beautiful way.
Cheers to BEING in a transition (and not just holding your breath until its over)!